There is a kind of knowledge that lives in books and in facts; it’s easy to acquire, and many of us spend a lot of time reading more books, and taking more courses to learn new things… But there is another kind of knowledge that exists quietly inside us… If we choose carefully what we are studying, the new courses can lead to the kind of self-reflection that helps us to uncover this.
Self-awareness through self-inquiry is a way of leaning into that inner knowing. It’s not about proving anything or being certain; it’s about pausing long enough to notice what is here – what is alive in us. Perhaps it is reflected in a tightness in the chest… a flicker of irritation… a longing for ease; some sort of felt sense.
These small recognitions are forms of knowledge too. They remind us that we are not just thinking beings, but feeling, needing, breathing ones.
Nonviolent, Mindful or Compassionate Communication (it has many names!) offers a way of extending this knowing beyond ourselves… It says that beneath every feeling, there is a need – and beneath every need, a common thread of humanity. When I pause to listen – to myself, or to another – I begin to touch that shared ground. I don’t have to agree, or fix, or explain; I only have to notice, and to stay present.
In this way, knowledge is less about gathering and more about softening. Less about certainty, more about curiosity. It is a conversation – between me and myself, between me and you, and it requires us to be quiet and still so we can pay attention to it.
When I remember this, I find myself asking gentler questions: What am I really feeling in this moment? What do I truly need? What is important right now? What might you be longing for? And in the asking, something shifts – knowledge is no longer a possession; it becomes a relationship.
And perhaps that is the most important thing; that knowledge, when held with awareness and compassion, curiosity and love, can bring us closer – to ourselves, and to one another.
